October 2008
33 posts
the i am neurotic migration and other news
I have some great news today! The blog has been redesigned with added user friendly features including search, tag clouds, and recent comments. Readers will also now be able to send in illustrations or photos with their submissions. These new improvements should make browsing and searching the blog much easier. Unfortunately, these improvements come at a small cost. It would have been difficult...
9 ccs of experience
Whenever I get a shot at the hospital I always ask how many other patients did they shoot. I have to know or I freak out.
circle circle dot dot
I need to eat circular foods all the way around the outside before I eat any of the middle. I used to do it cus thats where the most flavour would be but now I even do it on bagels and there’s not much in the middle.
trapper keeper handcuffs
When I was in school I would use extreme caution opening my trapper keeper because I was afraid the metal rings would snap shut on my wrists.
Gmail is tricky
When I send an e-mail I always have to go into the Sent Items and re-read the message I just sent, just to reassure myself that it still reads the way it did when I sent it a few seconds earlier.
2 tags
handle each mini wheat with care
When I eat Frosted Mini Wheats cereal, I have to put each little piece in the bowl one at a time, making sure the frosted side is facing up. Then I add the milk and eat them one at a time with the frosted side up on my spoon. I have been doing this since I was a little kid.
2 tags
one-legged jump rope
Whenever I was forced to jump rope in gym class, I could never do it unless I was standing on one leg. I’ll never understand why.
3 tags
let me push the belly button
Sometimes I get sudden urges to touch someones bellybutton. If they don’t let me I freak out and beg and plead them until they give in.
2 tags
walk the straight line
I have to walk from one place to the next in the straightest line possible. I will choose my route based on which has the fewest turns. I will also climb over things that are in my way.
3 tags
wink
When I see a car driving with only one working headlight, I have to wink at it because I feel like it’s winking at me. I sometimes wonder if anyone driving a car with daytime running lights has seen me winking and thought I was winking at them.
3 tags
sleep scratching
I cut my fingernails every night before I sleep, because I think that I’ll fall asleep on my hands and my nails will grow into my face, leaving hideous scars.
3 tags
i'll have what they're having
Whenever I go eat with friends, I wait to see what they’re getting before I make a choice. If they’re getting deep-fried this or greasy that, so will I. If they’re getting health food, so will I, even though I hate it. Otherwise I’m scared that they’ll think I’m a disgusting glutton.
3 tags
a clean banana is a yummy banana
I can only eat sliced bananas.. Biting them always seems too mushy in my mouth. If they are sliced they feel clean.
3 tags
left going to the left
When I’m backing out of a parking space, I always have to turn out to the left from where I am parked. This may mean that I have to go around the block, but I feel as though I am more likely to get in a wreck if I turn out to the right.
2 tags
lightening safe
When I first notice a thunder and lightening storm, I immediately remove all metal I am wearing. I don’t want burns from my jewelry if I get struck by lightening.
3 tags
person in the mirror, who are you?
whenever i am in front of the mirror i have to make quick movements and do obscure things because i am convinced the person i see in the mirror is not me, but someone hiding inside of it.
3 tags
tiny memory packages
If I need to remember something while I’m trying to sleep, I’ll say it into my hand and pretend to pack it into my ear so it’ll be in my brain when I wake up.
3 tags
ankles grabbers
If I’m walking up the stairs with someone else, I have to let them go first. If they’re behind me, I’m positive they’re going to grab my ankles and trip me.
3 tags
car wash catastrophe
I put my arm up in front of my face when going through the automatic car wash. I’m convinced that one of these times the windshield will bust when the air dryers blast the windows and glass will be embedded in my head and face.
2 tags
pill confusion
I get really uncomfortable if I swallow two different pills at once. If they are the same medicine, I can take several at a time, but if they are different, I feel as if I have to take them one after the other, or else they might get confused.
3 tags
dracula's spatula
I can’t say the word ‘Spatula’ without putting on a transylvanian accent and using the same tone that I would say ‘Dracula’.
2 tags
loving the rejects
I always feel that the yellow permanent marker is the rejected one, so I try to use it often because I feel bad for it.
1 tag
1...2...3...cut!
After using a pair of scissors, I always have to spin them (like a gunfighter spinning a pistol) before putting them away.
2 tags
you're not alone as you can tell from the comments
when i make a submission and no one comments saying that they have the same neurotic behavior i begin to feel like crazy. i do my best to comment on other people’s posts to make sure they dont feel like they are alone.
2 tags
hazards of wearing a skirt
when i’m wearing a skirt, after i go to the bathroom i have to subtlely smooth my hand over my butt to make sure it’s not tucked into my underwear at least five times.
2 tags
preserving the pointy tip
Whenever i use the fat Crayola markers, and only those particular markers, i feel bad if i press hard. it just seems like the whole marker’s life is ruined and it will be scarred for life if the tip of the marker is not pointy. so when i use those markers, i try not to press hard so they maintain a nice point.
2 tags
top 20
I have to have a list of the top twenty songs in my music playlist at all times. if i don’t have it and listen to it by the time the week is out i feel incomplete. and if i get behind in the charts i have to listen to the top twenty for as many weeks as i have missed out.
1 tag
actually, i don't know who you are.
I think you know who I am and you are silently judging me and finding my submissions to this website unworthy.
2 tags
neuroses do not encourage green habits
I canNOT write on the backs of pages. The dents left from the first side of writing cannot be written on. And I know it is a waste of paper, but I just can’t bring myself to get over it.
1 tag
scary in that sticky way
i can’t stand adhesives being stuck to me. i never use bandaids and refuse to even be near the wrappers. when i was a kid and people would give me stickers, i would wait until i was out of the room and abruptly tear it off. if any piece of tape or anything else is stuck to me, i can’t shake the feeling of it for a good twenty minutes. it’s mostly bandaids i can’t stand...
1 tag
push the button
When standing at a cross walk waiting for the light to turn, I push the signal button 5, 9, 11 or 27 times. If I accidentally hit 28, I can’t stop. I have to keep pushing the button until the light changes. I wish I knew how to make myself stop.
1 tag
play peek-a-boo. i'll be back soon
when i was a little kid, before i went to school every day, i would position my dolls and stuffed animals facing each other and tell them a game to play while i was gone. otherwise, i thought they would get lonely and hate me for leaving them.
2 tags
a piping hot bath by the age of 50
When I take a bath, before I turn off the water I have to turn the cold water all the way off and the hot water all the way up. Then I have to count to my age + 1. So say, I’m 23, then I have to count to 24. I’ve been doing this since I was 12.